One Piece Introduces One More Character You Wanna Know About Sabo?

I swear to Neptune, if One Piece introduces one more character, I’m going to scream.

You wanna know about Sabo? I’ll tell you about Sabo. You wanna know about Luffy’s mom? I’ll tell you about Luffy’s mom. You wanna know about Usopp, Ace, Mihawk, Buggy, Robin, Vivi, Zoro, Whitebeard, Blackbeard, and every other pirate with every other color beard under the sun? I’ll tell you about them, too.

But if One Piece doesn’t finish up with the characters it already has; if One Piece pulls another “hey, look over here at this dude! He looks like a shark with feet but he’s actually got the most tragic backstory ever,” then I’m gonna Buster Call my TV with my own two fists. There are so many One Piece characters that I have to keep straight in the exhausted recesses of my inflamed brain that I’m starting to lose track of the real people in my life. “Sorry, Frankie! I know we’ve been friends since grade school, but I just feel like I have too many people in my life and I need to make space for the people who matter to me most. Like Brook, a fictional undead skeleton musician. I hope you understand.”

Frankie didn’t understand, and now I have one less friend.

So you wanna know about the Celestial Dragons in One Piece? Okay, I’ll tell you about the Celestial Dragons. But if you ask me about anyone else, I’m gonna give you one piece of my mind.